All went well

waiting in pre-op


silly surgery pet

I'm out of the hospital; the surgery went well, and I was pleasantly surprised how tolerable it was. The staff was wonderful and made me as comfortable as possible. Sweetie was a gem and stayed with me at the hospital; she made so much difference. I could have muddled through on my own, but it was so soothing to have her there and to be able to lean on her for help. Not something that I like to do. But that was alright to do. Thank you so much.
Now onwards with healing.

More on that

Well,now it is the weekend before surgery. I feel apprehensive and on the inside, if I would let myself, I'd be screaming. Sometimes there is something freeing in being able to scream. I had to learn that. I used to think that it was "undignified" to give your feelings that much vent. It's really quite primal. Maybe I'll pencil in some screaming for today.
What I'm thinking about:
*I've met the surgeon twice, and had to decide if I trust her enough to let her cut into my body.
*I don't like loosing any of me. It's part of a whole -- me.
*Anesthesia scares me. When I dream, I still am aware of me. When you are under, there is nothing. Just black. Totally irrational, I think: "What if I die, I wouldn't know that I'm dead." Because I can't feel myself.
* It's hard for me to give up control over myself and let someone else have it. Especially someone whom I don't know.

And there you have it. Say a little prayer for me, if you do pray. Or think a healthy thought.
Goddess willing I'll be back soon.

Going under

I have to have some surgery on Monday. Removal of the uterus. I'm not happy about that. Some women I've talked to are envious. I don't feel that way. I'm sad to loose it, even though I never used it... More later.

Vase by stephanie rollins

chekere

I want one of these! (pronounced sha-kay-ray, I believe)
Send me your gourds.