Thursday, March 19, 2009

All went well

waiting in pre-op

silly surgery pet

I'm out of the hospital; the surgery went well, and I was pleasantly surprised how tolerable it was. The staff was wonderful and made me as comfortable as possible. Sweetie was a gem and stayed with me at the hospital; she made so much difference. I could have muddled through on my own, but it was so soothing to have her there and to be able to lean on her for help. Not something that I like to do. But that was alright to do. Thank you so much.
Now onwards with healing.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

More on that

Well,now it is the weekend before surgery. I feel apprehensive and on the inside, if I would let myself, I'd be screaming. Sometimes there is something freeing in being able to scream. I had to learn that. I used to think that it was "undignified" to give your feelings that much vent. It's really quite primal. Maybe I'll pencil in some screaming for today.
What I'm thinking about:
*I've met the surgeon twice, and had to decide if I trust her enough to let her cut into my body.
*I don't like loosing any of me. It's part of a whole -- me.
*Anesthesia scares me. When I dream, I still am aware of me. When you are under, there is nothing. Just black. Totally irrational, I think: "What if I die, I wouldn't know that I'm dead." Because I can't feel myself.
* It's hard for me to give up control over myself and let someone else have it. Especially someone whom I don't know.

And there you have it. Say a little prayer for me, if you do pray. Or think a healthy thought.
Goddess willing I'll be back soon.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Going under

I have to have some surgery on Monday. Removal of the uterus. I'm not happy about that. Some women I've talked to are envious. I don't feel that way. I'm sad to loose it, even though I never used it... More later.

Vase by stephanie rollins

Wednesday, March 04, 2009


I want one of these! (pronounced sha-kay-ray, I believe)
Send me your gourds.